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Being the "nice girl" at work has its perks —everyone gravitates toward you because you're always trying to please other people. However, in terms of getting what you want in your career and having your career progress at the rate you want it to, being too "nice" might hinder you. Lois Frankel, author of Nice Girls Just Don't Get It advises to "get outside your comfort zone and be willing to deal with other people's discomfort, because if you spend your life making other people comfortable, you may feel good, but you're not going to get what you really want."
在辦公室里做個“乖乖女”有它的好處——每個人都會被你所吸引,因?yàn)槟憧偸潜M力取悅別人。然而,考慮到你對職業(yè)發(fā)展的期望和對職業(yè)發(fā)展速度的渴求,表現(xiàn)得太過nice恐怕反而會妨礙到你。《好女孩就是不明白》的作者路易斯·法蘭克建議姑娘們“離開你們的舒適帶,并愿意去處理他人的不適。因?yàn)榧偃缒阋惠呑佣蓟ㄔ谌绾巫寗e人感到更舒適上,你或許會感覺很好,但你很難得到你真正想要的東西”。
To get ahead at work, you need to be more assertive, but you don't have to be too aggressive about it —there are ways to do it in a positive manner. Here are some tips Frankel has for women to drop the "nice" act:
想要在職場獲得領(lǐng)先,你需要變得更自私一些,但你也沒必要表現(xiàn)得太過咄咄逼人——有很多辦法可以讓你既能實(shí)現(xiàn)自己的利益,又顯得不失禮節(jié)。以下就是弗蘭克為那些為人太過nice的乖乖女們提出的建議:
Leverage Your Relationships: If you have cultivated a great network and relationships, don't feel bad about reaching out to someone for help. Many "nice girls" feel bad asking others for help, but they need to get over that and take advantage of the relationships they worked hard to build.
平衡你的人際關(guān)系:假如你培養(yǎng)了良好的人脈和人際關(guān)系,不要覺得找別人幫忙是件壞事。很多“乖乖女”會覺得讓別人幫忙不好,但她們必須跨過這道坎,才能更好地利用她們精心建立起的人脈。
Don't Say Yes All the Time: Pick and choose what you'll say yes to, and be sure to "manage people's expectations" by stating your limitations about the project and what you'll realistically be able to get done.
別總是說“好”:選一些你會說“好”的事情,學(xué)會“控制人們的期望”,你需要列舉出你對于這個項目能做到的極限,以及你實(shí)際有能力做到的事情。
Use Less Words: Instead of talking too much, try to make your messages succinct and to the point. Frankel says, "Women tend to use more words than men because they either feel as if they have to compensate for something or prove themselves." Use less words and gestures. Be sure to be mindful of filler words such as "like" and "uh-huh" as well.
少說話:與其說太多話,不如試著讓你的語言更簡練并且切中要害。弗蘭克說,“女人們總是傾向于使用更多的語言,那是因?yàn)樗齻冋J(rèn)為她們需要彌補(bǔ)一些東西,或是證明她們的觀點(diǎn)。”你應(yīng)該減少你的語言和動作。為了表現(xiàn)得更有思想,你也需要停止使用諸如“貌似”或是“唔-額”這樣的詞語。
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