1. TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

GEORGE: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

CLASS: George!

2. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".

ELLEN: I is...

TEACHER: No, Ellen. We always say, "I am."

ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

3. TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?

CLASS: Big hands!

4. TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?

STUDENT: Yes, Sir.

TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?

STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.

5. TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-feet snake.

SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.